As I researched how to cultivate a Parisienne state of mind, that effortless confidence, the assurance in her stride, the sense of self that I wanted to emulate, one thing kept coming up over and over: lingerie. Brand boutiques are around every corner in Paris, and the intimates section in Department Stores take up half a floor or more. Women in Paris take their lingerie very seriously. Indeed, some estimate that they spend about 20% of their wardrobe budget on intimate attire. Really?
Yes. Sometimes an afterthought for American women, foundational pieces are one of the most important components to any outfit for most of the women in Paris. My regular Paris shopping guide, Clara, confirmed and I paraphrase here: “Of course. If you don’t get that part right, you don’t feel right for the entire day.” I likened it to a bad hair day.
Why lingerie? Why are these items so significant for cultivating that Parisienne confidence I so admire? As most American women will agree, we usually subscribe to the “no one will see this” version of selecting an “everyday” bra and whatever panties look “fine” for the day. Lingerie is for special occasions, and typically reserved for when someone else will see it. We don’t entertain the idea that a cute lacy bra and panty set should serve us and our sensibilities throughout the course of a day.
Here’s the thing: for most Parisian women, lingerie is for themselves. Ahh, again, that notion of self care, and that it’s worth wearing pretty things just for you. A hard concept to convince American women to buy into, both figuratively and literally.
Interestingly, there are very few books or materials to read about French lingerie. Undergarments overall, yes. Their history, construction, how-to-wear guides, and general overviews. But French/Parisian lingerie specifically? I only found one: Paris Undressed by Kathryn Kemp-Griffin (a great find and highly recommended!). I even searched for Paris lingerie tours and was disappointed.
Ok, fine. So in between my second and third trip to Paris, I did my own research and conducted an experiment. I spent a year (and a fair bit of cash) testing two theories: 1) that lingerie would alter my mindset, and 2) that French brands were better. I made a list of French brands, American versions, and set out to collect the contents for my investigation. My purchases included a selection of bra and panty sets (yes, matching sets, ladies), along with a few beautiful nightgown and robe ensembles.
Harder to do than you’d think, and most items I had to order online. Lingerie sections in U.S. department stores don’t always have matching panties, and most of the pretty nightwear is best described as “bridal,” a point I will come back to in a later blog…
Plus, in the States, we are constantly inundated with ads for “no-underwire” bras and the American woman’s eternal search for “comfort” above all else. Where did these trends come from? My D cups need the underwire, and they don’t want padding. I wasn’t searching for something so comfortable that it produced a uni-boob look. Anyone else with me here?? So, yes, it was a shopping challenge to find the right pieces.
My selections completed, the tests began. For a year, I alternated between French and American brands, and every now and then, I’d wear something less pretty or non-matching sets. I figured a year would be long enough to detect a shift in my mindset depending on what I wore, and also to see how they held up after wear and washing.
Were the French brands really better than American options? Did I feel any different wearing lacy pieces under my outfit during the day, or a silky nightie to bed? In a word, YES. To both questions.
Here’s what I learned. Yes, I felt more confident when I started my day with a pretty foundation, and that feeling continued throughout my hectic work schedules. But, further reflection led me to understand that part of the shift in my mindset came from me getting to know my body much better. All of its quirks and shapes and movement.
I also learned that comfort doesn’t mean you can’t feel it. In fact, it’s the feeling of the material that makes it so special. A sensory experience, as Kemp-Griffin notes. Lace and silk skimming the skin, almost as if it’s another layer, bringing to mind the color, the fabric, the memory of what they look like, how they were carefully selected that morning based on a disposition or an outfit. Poof. Instant mood boost.
And it’s just for me.
I did find the French brands superior to American versions, but that’s a story for another blog… What did I buy? What brands do I like? Where did I go? Keep your eye out for Part Two, which will include the spots I recommend in Paris!
Au revoir until next time,
~Valerie’s Granddaughter